Why do I have such a love-hate relationship with you? No matter how much I try to work this out, it hasn’t been healthy so far except for the rare occasions when you decide to surprise me with your support and presence.
People reading this might be wondering what the hell am I even talking about. But, you know how crazy it has been for us, right? Funny that we never had a conversation about this earlier. We’ve just been keeping quiet about our needs. Well, you obviously can’t talk, so let’s say that I have been keeping quiet about my needs.
I want you to know that you matter to me. There are times when I intentionally push you away because existence seems heavy to process, or on the contrary, when I’m rejoicing life. But there are also days when your absence feeds on me. Your vacancy wears me out. When my mind calls you, and you don’t show up, it wonders what is wrong. When my body longs for your healing, restorative power, and you don’t hear its prays, it feels dreadful and deprived.
I wish and hope we can make this work in the days to come. I hope you can listen to me. I promise I will listen to you when you shall be keen to stay with me.
I am looking forward to better days ahead with you.
Your foe and friend,